2022/5782
The Aseret HaDibrot share one similar theme. They all provide the opportunity to draw closer to and connect with Hashem. However, two commandments that stand out are, “Lo Tachmod,” “don’t be jealous” (Shemot 20:14), and “Kaveid Et Avicha Ve’Et Imecha,” “honor your father and mother” (ibid 12). These two commandments mesh with each other and can teach us a lesson of great importance.
When compiling a list, often you save the best or most significant for last. However, the Aseret HaDibrot display the complete opposite thought. “Lo Tachmod” seems like the least significant commandment out of the ten. Some may wonder if it even belongs, as it relates alongside nine other extremely important and crucial commandments. So why is “Lo Tachmod” placed in such a key position?
”Lo Tachmod” stresses the point that Hashem made every single person for a reason. Everyone has their own amazing qualities that make them special. When one is jealous of someone or something that they don't have, they are not accepting or appreciating their specific qualities given to them by Hashem.
Ibn Ezra shares a deep lesson that we can apply to this question. “Da Ki Ish Kefari SheYesh Lo De’ah Nechonah VeHu Ra’ah Bat Melech SheHi Yafeh, Lo Yachmod Otah BeLibo SheYishkav Imah,” “a commoner does not desire the princess” (Ibn Ezra Shemot 20:14 S.V. Lo Tachmod). He is aware that she is simply out of his league and he will never be able to marry her.
One may wonder how Hashem can possibly command us not to be jealous when it is such a natural feeling. It is human nature to want what other people have. Just like the commoner understands that he should not even desire the princess because she is so far removed from him, this is how we should look at other people. If your friend has a brand new 2021 Jeep Wrangler and you have a rundown 2007 Honda Civic, you should understand that this is what Hashem wants for you. If you apply this to little things such as a car, then you should certainly apply this to the more meaningful things in life such as one’s reputation or family. You lose yourself when you try to be someone else. This lesson from Ibn Ezra can only help you love yourself to the fullest. The way to avoid jealousy is through Emunah. All that must be done is to understand one thing: that everything you have, and everything you don't have, is because of Hashem.
So what is the connection between “Lo Tachmod” and “Kaveid Et Avicha”? Jealousy is not appreciating who you truly are and wanting to be like someone else. This can also be looked at as a violation of Kibbud Av Va’Eim. Your parents gave you all your attributes and traits. A desire to be like others is in essence affirming that you are not appreciative of how your parents made you. Your parents imparted everything to you; food, a home, your smile, and stature. You must appreciate who you are to not fall into the trap of ”Lo Tachmod” and to fulfill the Mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va’Eim to the fullest. We are all amazing and beautiful in our own ways and we shall continue making the world a better place by contributing in our own special way. Have an amazing Shabbos!!