2020/5780
I remember sitting, as a ninth-grade boy, at my Rebbe's end of the year BBQ celebration. Parents were even invited to come and hear about the accomplishments of each student in the Shiur. One memory that stands out from that event is how my Rebbi praised one boy in particular for being the hardest working student in the class. Despite the fact that other Talmidim may have been brighter, this Talmid was able to excel in the Shiur due to his determination and drive to succeed. Needless to say, my old classmate went on to become a “black belt” Talmid Chacham who far surpassed many of the students in the room who may have had a more impressive IQ score. This story exemplifies the fact that the Mitzvah of Talmud Torah is not only about Torah knowledge, but is also about an inner drive to master the Torah despite challenges. This theme is found in Ramban’s commentary to Parashat BeMidbar.
Parashat BeMidbar (describes the unique formation by which Bnei Yisrael traveled in the desert. Specifically, the Torah says that the Shevatim of Yehudah, Yissachar, and Zevulun were the first to move ahead when Bnei Yisrael traveled and that those three Shevatim camped in the eastern part of the formation. Following them, the Shevatim of Reuven, Gad, and Shimon travelled and always remained in the southern part of the camp. While these details may come off as a bit unnecessary at first, the Ramban, BeMidbar 2:2 s.v. Ish Al Diglo BeOtot, points out that there are many hidden messages alluded to in the formation of Bnai Yisrael’s traveling. For example, Ramban writes that Reuven travelled after Yissachar specifically because Reuven represents Teshuvah and Yissachar represents Torah. In the words of Ramban, “SheHaTeshuvah Hi Sheniah LaTorah,” “Torah must always be followed by Teshuvah.” Why must Teshuvah always accompany Torah?
Rav Yitzchak Hutner zt”l ( Pachad Yitzchak Yom HaKippurim Ma’amr 33) elaborates on this line in the Ramban and explains that Teshuvah has always been paired with Torah. For example, there is no paragraph in Shemoneh Esrei dedicated to Torah learning. Rather, we only see a request for Torah in the context of Teshuvah. Specifically, in the paragraph of “Hashiveinu Avinu LeToratecha” we ask Hashem to return us to His Torah and do Teshuvah. The main theme of the paragraph, points out Rav Hutner, is Teshuvah, not Torah learning per se. Additionally, Rav Hutner points out that Bnai YIsrael never ended up receiving the Luchot from Matan Torah since they sinned with the golden calf. Yet, they were rewarded for the Teshuva that they did after the Luchot were broken. What emerges from this is that our bond with Hashem was formed with a combination of accepting the Torah in the context of doing Teshuvah. To elaborate on Rav Hutner’s point, I believe that Teshuvah is always needed to keep one connected to Torah because one must constantly fight the challenges which may convince one to give up on Torah learning.
The Mishna, Avot 6:6, lists “Kabalat Yissurin,” the ability to withstand pain, as one of the ingredients to properly acquire Torah. The Midrash Shmuel there comments that the Mishna does not say that “Yissurin,” punishment, is necessary for Torah learning. Rather, the Mishna states that the “acceptance of punishment” is a prerequisite for ideal Torah learning. In other words, if one wants to master Torah, he must be prepared to respond properly to setbacks. This also speaks to Ramban’s theme that Teshuvah is a key ingredient to succeed in learning. This is because, inevitably, challenges will interfere with our learning, and we must be prepared to accept the Torah despite the hardships.
Similarly, the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat (88b) says that the impact of Hashem’s voice at Har Sinai “blasted Bnai Yisrael 12,000 mil away from Har Sinai. Malachim, angels, assisted the Jews to get back to Har Sinai.” A prominent Rabbi explains this Gemara as referring to the necessary response to the feelings of failure and rejection in Torah learning. This Gemara is teaching us how to respond when the Torah “pushes us away.” Our reaction must be the resolve to run back to “Har Sinai” and try to learn the Torah again.
We are all currently experiencing a similar feeling of rejection from Torah as we are not allowed to attend Shul. Perhaps, like the Jews at Har Sinai, it is now our job to try to run back to Shul when it becomes permissible. The Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 90:12, records the Halachah that it is “a Mitzvah to run to Shul even on Shabbat, where running is generally not allowed.” I think that this Halachah represents the concept of Teshuva joining Torah as well. In shul, we hear the Torah and study the Torah. Running there represents our inner desire to draw closer to Hashem despite the setbacks.