5787/2026
“Eirdah-na VeEr’eh HaKitza’akata HaBa’ah Eily Asu Kalah, Ve’Im Lo, Eida”, “I will now go down and see whether they have acted according to her cry that has reached Me. If so, I will destroy them; if not, I will know” (BeReishit 18:21). We usually assume that people admire kindness and respect those who do the right thing. Sometimes, however, another person’s good behavior can make us uncomfortable. Even without criticizing our choices, someone else’s actions can remind us that we could be doing more or doing better. This idea may help us understand a disturbing story about Sedom.
Rashi, commenting on this Pasuk connects the words “HaKitza’akata”, referring to her cry, with a young girl who was killed for helping a poor person: “VeRaboteinu Darshu HaKitza’akata: Tza’akat Rivah Achat SheHareguh Mitah Meshunah Al SheNatnah Mazon LeAni, KaMeforash BeChelek.” “Our Sages interpreted ‘HaKitza’akata’ as referring to the cry of a young girl whom they killed in a cruel manner because she gave food to a poor person, as explained in Perek Chelek” (Rashi, BeReishit 18:21).
The Gemara (Sanhedrin 109b) describes her bringing bread to a poor person concealed in a pitcher. When the people of Sedom discovered what she was doing, they covered her with honey and placed her on the city wall, where stinging insects killed her. The Gemara connects this incident to the Torah’s description of Sedom’s outcry, explaining, “Al Iskei Rivah,” because of what happened to the young girl. The story raises a troubling question. Why would a city's people go to such lengths to stop acts of kindness? Why pass laws banning kindness and generosity? Why invest so much time and effort to enforce those laws and punish even a young girl with the harshest of punishments for giving food to a starving person? If the people of Sedom did not want to help, they could choose not to. Why the need to stop everyone else from helping?
The Ramban on BeReishit 19:5 gives a practical explanation: “Ki Chashvu SheBa’avur Tuvat Artzam, SheHi KeGan Hashem, Yavo’u Sham Rabbim, VeHem Hayu Mo’asei HaTzedakah.” The people of Sedom were concerned that their prosperous land would attract outsiders. They despised charity and wanted to discourage people from coming. Someone who gave food or offered assistance undermined that policy. Perhaps there was another reason as well. It was not enough for them to avoid acts of kindness themselves. If someone, anyone, was doing the right thing, it could cause them to reflect on their own behavior, and then they would feel guilty or ashamed. Maybe they would feel compelled to have to do more or do better. The girl who gave bread to a poor person did not have to say anything to them. Her actions showed that it was possible to care and to help others, and that highlighted that they chose not to. For the people of Sedom, those feelings needed to be avoided at all costs. Perhaps that is why they needed laws against kindness and such harsh punishments for anyone who violated them. They wanted to make sure that no one would cause them to question how they were living, feel any sense of guilt or shame, or feel any responsibility to change.
A similar question arises in the story of Noach. Rashi, commenting on BeReishit 7:13, describes how the people of his generation threatened to break the Teivah and kill Noach when he entered it. Rashi explains that Hashem surrounded the Teivah with bears and lions to protect it from those who wanted to attack.
Rav Birnbaum, the Rosh Yeshiva of Mir, explains that the Dor HaMabul was unwilling to work on themselves to overcome their desires and bad character traits. They knew, and had heard from Noach, what their end would be. They therefore became jealous of Noach, who was overcoming those challenges and living as a Tzaddik even in a generation as corrupt as the generation of the Flood. Instead of working on themselves and being saved, they wanted him to die along with them. His explanation helps us understand how a person’s refusal to change can turn into resentment toward someone willing to work on himself. Rav Birnbaum’s insight was supported by a series of studies that were conducted about a decade ago.
In a study called “The Rejection of Moral Rebels”, researchers Benoît Monin, Pamela Sawyer, and Matthew Marquez confirmed that people who had participated in questionable behavior often disliked someone who refused to go along with their behavior. The researchers connected the resentment to the way another person’s refusal could threaten someone’s positive view of themself. The study showed that a person who refused to go along with the crowd did not need to lecture or criticize anyone in order to generate resentment. In another study by Julia Minson and Benoît Monin, they showed that simply expecting that someone will judge us can trigger a negative reaction toward that person.
Similarly, Rabbeinu Yonah, in Sha’arei Teshuvah (3:160), describes a related reaction: “Im Nafsham Ra’ah, U’Ve’Kerev Libam Yiksheh LaHem Ka’asher Chavreihem Oskim BaTorah. ViYeira BeEineihem BeHeyot Bnei Adam Ovdim Et Hashem VeYere’im MiLefanav.” He describes people who are inwardly troubled when their friends learn Torah and who resent seeing others serve Hashem and fear Him. He goes on to explain that instead of being inspired and motivated to follow the positive example of the righteous, they allow themselves to feel resentment, leading them to discourage others from doing mitzvot, or they choose to ridicule or embarrass the people who are working hard to do the right thing.
The Gemara quoted by Rashi is a strong reminder that we can become so invested in doing what we have always done that we go to great lengths to avoid questioning ourselves. Instead of reflecting on our choices, we double down and defend them to the end. We may dismiss or criticize someone whose behavior makes us uncomfortable and shut down an opportunity for introspection and growth. On the other hand, when we take responsibility for our choices, reflect, introspect, and acknowledge our faults and shortcomings, we tap into our potential for growth and improvement. In general, growth-oriented people look for positive role models to help inspire them to do the hard work that will enable them to reach new heights and to perfect their actions.