(2019/5780)
The Torah describes Ya’akov Avinu’s arrival at and encounter with an anonymous place during the course of his flight from Be’eir Sheva to Charan, and details how Ya’akov slept that evening in the said place – “VaYishkav BaMakom HahHu,” “And he lay down in that place”(BeReishit 28:11). Rashi (BeReishit 28:11 s.v. Va’Yishkav), citing Chazal’s interpretation, infers from the Pasuk’s phraseology that Ya’akov slept that evening in that place; however, he experienced sleepless evenings during the fourteen years prior to that moment since he was toiling assiduously in Torah study in the Beit Midrash of Eiver.
Rabbah relays an important Halachic principle in the name of Rav Yitzchak Bar Shmuel Bar Marta based on this inference from the Pasuk: “Gadol Talmud Torah Yoteir MiKibud Av Va’Eim,” “Torah study is a higher priority than honoring one’s mother and father” (Megillah 16b). Ya’akov was punished for the twenty-two years that he spent travelling to and residing in Lavan’s home due to his neglect of Kibbud Av Va’Eim; nonetheless, he was pardoned for the fourteen years that he invested in Torah study in the Beit Midrash of Sheim Ve’Eiver. Apparently, Talmud Torah supersedes the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents. This Halachic ruling is recorded in Rambam’s code (Hilchot Mamrim 6:13) as well as in the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Dei’ah 240:13).
The Halachic principle in Massechet Megillah provided one of the bases for a consequential ruling of the Terumat HaDeshen (Shu”t no. 40) in which he permitted a student to learn in a particular Yeshiva due to his feelings of potential success in the Yeshiva’s environment or on account of a specific teacher despite his parents’ opposition. If Talmud Torah supersedes Kibbud Av Va’Eim, potential religious and intellectual growth ought to take priority over parental wishes. However, it is important to note that great deliberation and wisdom ought to be exercised before a child opts to abandon a more collaborative approach toward Yeshiva selection involving parental consent, input, and insight despite the child’s principled Halachic right to the contrary. In addition, although a child might have the Halachic right to disregard parental wishes concerning their Yeshiva selection, parents could also reciprocally express their disinterest to pay for a Yeshiva tuition that they are uncomfortable supporting.
Rav Ya’akov Kaminetzky wonders why Ya’akov’s study in the Beit Midrash of Eiver was so vitally important at this particular juncture in his life (Emet LeYa’akov, Parashat Vayeitzei, s.v. Va’Yishkav). What made his detour imperative at this moment, given his parent’s instructions to flee to Charan and the grave danger posed by a pursuant Eisav? Moreover, Ya’akov had already studied Torah with his grandfather, Avraham, and received the personal instruction of his father, Yitzchak. In fact, Rambam (Hilchot Avodat Kochavim 1:3) captures this facet of their relationship in the following terms: “VaYeishev Yitzchak MeLameid UMazhir VeYitzchak Hodi’a LeYa’akov UMineihu LeLameid,” “Yitzchak sat and taught and admonished, and Yitzchak imparted it to Ya’akov and appointed him to teach.” Why, then, was it necessary for Ya’akov to spend time studying in the Beit Midrash of Eiver? What could Eiver impart to him which his great teachers, Avraham and Yitzchak, were incapable of imparting?
Rav Kaminetzky suggests that the two experiences of Torah study differed fundamentally from one another. The Torat Ha’Avot, the Torah studied with Avraham and Yitzchak, was a dramatically different mode of study with a different point of emphasis than the Torat Sheim Ve’Eiver, the Torah taught in the Beit Midrash of Sheim Ve’Eiver. The teachings of the Avot consisted of focused instruction in the areas of Emunah and Avodat Hashem in an insulated environment. The home in which Ya’akov was raised and reared was an incubator for Emunah and Avodat Hashem, and was largely protected from the outside world and factors.
The Beit Midrash of Sheim Ve’Eiver, in contrast, adopted a different accent, and was deeply affected by the personal experiences of its heads. Sheim experienced and survived the environment of the Dor HaMabul while Eiver withstood the pressures of the Dor HaPalagah. Their instruction focused on an Avodat Hashem that could successfully navigate the effects of a corrosive external environment while preserving the purity and moral integrity of the individual. As a result, it was imperative that Ya’akov first imbibe the spiritual message of Sheim Ve’Eiver before departing to Charan and to Lavan’s home. The instruction of Sheim Ve’Eiver, rather than Avraham Avinu’s and Yitzchak Avinu’s spiritual message, would ultimately enable Ya’akov to proclaim “Im Lavan Garti,” “I have lived with Lavan,” and yet, “VeTaryag Mitzvot Shamarti VeLo Lamadeti MiMa’asav HaRa’im,” “However, I have preserved the six hundred and thirteen commandments, and I have resisted learning from his evil ways” (BeReishit 32:5 and Rashi ibid. s.v. Garti). For this spiritual reinforcement, Ya’akov needed to detour for fourteen years of study in the Beit Midrash of Sheim Ve’Eiver.
Against this backdrop, an additional peculiar comment of Rashi’s can be understood with greater depth and sharpness. In Parashat VaYeishev, the Torah describes Ya’akov’s love for Yoseif as being attributable to his quality as a “Ben Zekunim,” which Onkelos translates as “Bar Chakim Hu Leih,” “He was an intelligent son” (BeReishit 37:3). Rashi adds to Onkelos’s comment that Ya’akov transmitted to Yosef all that he had learned in the Beit Midrash of Sheim Ve’Eiver: “Kol Ma SheLamad MiSheim Ve’Eivar Masar Lo,” “Everything he learned from Sheim and Eiver, he transmitted to him” (BeReishit 37:3 s.v. Ben Zekunim). His focus on the instruction of Sheim Ve’Eiver rather than his father and grandfather, Avraham and Yitzchak, is surprising. Against this backdrop, Rav Kaminetzky explains that Ya’akov needed to prepare Yoseif for his descent to Mitzrayim and to instruct him regarding how to survive and thrive in a hostile environment which could be antithetical to his spiritual fiber and mission. It was specifically the spiritual message of Sheim Ve’Eiver that would be vital to Yoseif’s success in Mitzrayim, rather than the Torat Ha’Avot which can thrive specifically in an insular environment.
It is these two forms of Talmud Torah, Torat Ha’Avot and Torat Sheim Ve’Eiver, that ought to energize and animate our engagement with Devar Hashem on a daily basis. On the one hand, the Torah is pure and pristine, it is meta-historical, and it transcends the daily challenges of this-worldly living. On the other hand, the Torah is our guide and compass for navigating this world with all of its attendant personal struggles and all the complexities of interpersonal interactions. It instructs us not only within the smooth waters of life, but along the surrounding rough rapids, as well.