2020/5781
There was once a teenage boy who was traveling to a doctor’s appointment in Eretz Yisrael. On the bus, however, he was tested in the area of Shemirat Einayim and was unable to conquer this Yeitzer HaRa. After feeling guilty he went to the Steipler Gaon, Rav Yaakov Yisroel Kaniefsky, to vent and express his feelings. The Steipler asked if at any moment in time he was able to stand up to the Yeitzer HaRa and look away, to which the boy responded yes, but soon after would look again. The Steipler responded, “If I had the strength I would stand up for you. Even passing the test once puts you on the level of Yoseif HaTzaddik, Mamesh, Mamesh, Mamesh”.
We often think of our struggles and failures in a linear way. If you win you win, but if you lose you lose and that’s it. We have an all or nothing attitude and cannot seem to move past our failures. In this week's Parashah, Yaakov Avinu splits up his family encampment into two and says, “If Esav comes and hits one of the camps, the other could be saved.” Aside from the simple explanation of this Pasuk, what is the Penimiyut (inner meaning) of the Pasuk?
The Divrei Yisrael, Rabbi Yisroel Taub, the Modzhitzer Rebbe, writes that in this instance Eisav is a Remez, a hint, to the Yeitzer HaRa. Yaakov Avinu was therefore saying that if the Yeitzer HaRa comes to a person and seduces him to fail in one of the Mitzvot of Hashem, a person should not give up hope from what happened in the past but do what he can to keep what remains of himself intact for the future. The Divrei Yisrael presents a Mashal to what this is similar. Imagine owning a store and leaving some items in front of the store to catch bypassers eyes. One day, a thief comes and steals just one item away. If you, the store owner, runs after the thief, you leave everything else vulnerable to be stolen. Stand your ground and guard yourself from further thievery.
The Divrei Yisrael teaches us that one should not become dejected and depressed over a missed opportunity or a failure in any of the Mitzvot of Hashem. Depression is the craft of the Yeitzer Hara and ensnares us in a spiral of spiritual decay, as the Mishnah in Avot says, “Aveirah Goreret Aveirah”.
One may ask: but why is this true? Doesn’t Hashem ask us to win every battle? Doesn’t Hashem demand only success? Later in the Parashah, we find that Eisav battles with the Sar Shel Eisav; when Yaakov emerges he asks the angel to bless him. The angel tells Yaakov that his name will no longer be Yaakov but rather Yisrael, “for you fought (Sarita) with men and angels and won (VaTuchal)” (BeReishit 32:29). The Imrei Emet, Rav Leibele Eiger, asks why Yaakov is called Yisrael for Sarita, for fighting. Shouldn’t he be called Tuchal for winning? Rav Eiger explains that we are called Yisrael for the fight, whether we win or not is not necessarily up to us but up to Hashem. What we are called to do, as the Bnei Yisrael, is to be in the fight, to be in the arena and doing our best. Even if we fail, that is what it means to be Bnei Yisrael. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
Being part of Bnei Yisrael means that we are called upon to move forward, despite our past failures yet celebrate even our slightest victories like that boy on the bus. And to always remember that even in the course of our failures, when we are persistent and stubborn about fighting for Kedushah, then we are considered victorious in the eyes of Hashem.