2021/5782
The Haftarah for Parashat VaYechi tells the poignant story of David HaMelech giving his final instructions to his son and successor Shlomo. In reading the story, one cannot help but think of the parallel image of Yaakov Avinu, delivering his own set of deathbed instructions, messages and Berachot for his sons and family. I have no doubt that this similarity played a large role in Chazal's decision to choose this particular Haftarah for Parashat VaYechi. However, a closer look at David's instructions reveals that they contain an even deeper message for readers of Parashat VaYechi, and help shed light on one of the biggest decisions ever made in the history of our nation - a decision Yosef faced at the end of our Parashah.
To begin, let's look at David's instructions. After telling Shlomo to be strong, be a man, and follow the Torah, David advises Shlomo how to relate to a number of characters who had played a large role in David's rise and struggle to maintain his kingship. And the very first of these - and by far the most prominent - is Yo’av: “וְגַ֣ם אַתָּ֣ה יָדַ֡עְתָּ אֵת֩ אֲשֶׁר־עָ֨שָׂה לִ֜י יוֹאָ֣ב בֶּן־צְרוּיָ֗ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָשָׂ֣ה לִשְׁנֵֽי־שָׂרֵ֣י צִבְא֣וֹת יִ֠שְׂרָאֵ֠ל לְאַבְנֵ֨ר בֶּן־נֵ֜ר וְלַעֲמָשָׂ֤א בֶן־יֶ֙תֶר֙ וַיַּ֣הַרְגֵ֔ם וַיָּ֥שֶׂם דְּמֵֽי־מִלְחָמָ֖ה בְּשָׁלֹ֑ם וַיִּתֵּ֞ן דְּמֵ֣י מִלְחָמָ֗ה בַּחֲגֹֽרָתוֹ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר בְּמׇתְנָ֔יו וּֽבְנַעֲל֖וֹ אֲשֶׁ֥ר בְּרַגְלָֽיו׃ וְעָשִׂ֖יתָ כְּחׇכְמָתֶ֑ךָ וְלֹֽא־תוֹרֵ֧ד שֵׂיבָת֛וֹ בְּשָׁלֹ֖ם שְׁאֹֽל׃,” “And you know what Yo’av ben Tzeruyah did to me, what he did to two commanders of Israel’s forces, Avneir son of Neir and Amasa son of Yeter: He killed them, mixing the blood of war into peace, staining the girdle around his loins and the sandals on his feet with the blood of war. So act wisely, and see that his white hair does not descend to the grave in peace."
To understand the underlying subtext of David HaMelech's words here, one needs to understand the historical circumstances surrounding Yo’av's murder of each of these generals. Following the death of Sha’ul HaMelech, many Jews remained loyal to Sha’ul's family, and appointed his son Ish Boshet as king. Avneir was the most prominent of these, effectively serving as Ish Boshet's general and chief of staff. Much time passed during which Ish Boshet's forces - led by Avneir - fought with David's, until finally Ish Boshet and Avneir had a falling out, and Avneir decided to throw his support behind David. David, seeking to bring an end to what had been a bloody conflict, embraced and welcomed Avneir. But Yo’av, David's chief general at the time, did not. Claiming he didn't trust Avneir's sincerity, Yo’av casually engaged Avneir in conversation, then brutally stabbed him, murdering him while his guard was down. When David HaMelech heard, he was furious, but could do nothing about it at the time other than to disavow Yo’av's actions. But was Yo’av at least sincere in his desire to protect David from what he thought was a spy? It's hard to know for sure, but Yo’av certainly had ample personal motive to bring about Avneir's death. He may have been worried about his own position as general now that Avneir was around. He may have been looking to avenge his brother Asahel's death, who Avneir had killed in what he claimed was an act of self-defense against Asahel's attacks. And he may have just been still angry at Avneir for all the battles he had fought against Yo’av and his family, unwilling and unable to trust Avneir, to forgive and forget their bloody past together in the interest of peace.
Similarly, Amasa was a leader who had fought many a battle against Yo’av and David, supporting Avshalom in his rebellion against David. When David HaMelech's forces finally managed to subdue Avshalom in battle, Yo’av disobeys David's explicit instructions to keep Avshalom alive, instead choosing to have him killed. David is again furious with Yo’av, and briefly demotes him in favor of General Amasa, who declares his renewed loyalty to David now that the battle with Avshalom is over. Some time later, Yo’av sees Amasa, and as Yo’av pretends to greet him with a friendly kiss, he surreptitiously stabs him to death, accusing him of betraying David.
What emerges from a comparison of these two murders is Yo’av's resistance to making peace with those who have fought with him in the past. Ironically, as can be seen from the way in which Yo’av kills each of these two generals, Yo’av has no qualms pretending to be at peace with someone as a means of getting close enough to kill them. As David says, "He placed the blood of war in peace." Yo’av just could not stop being at war with his enemies, and did not believe them when they tried to stop fighting him.
David HaMelech took strong issue with these life philosophies, especially as the Jewish people transitioned into a time dominated by peace in the early days of Shlomo HaMelech. By advising Shlomo to dispense with Yo’av, David was sending a message that Yo’av's philosophy had no place in the society Shlomo would strive to create. In order to have lasting peace, one must be willing to overlook the injustices of the past, and move forward by building sincere relationships with former opponents when it is clear that's what they also want. Sincere peace sometimes requires a suspension of what may feel like justice, no matter how challenging that may be.
Bringing things back to our Parashah, when Yaakov Avinu died, Yosef faced a similar dilemma. Without causing distress to his father, he now had the opportunity to take revenge against the brothers who had so grievously wronged him in the past, selling him into slavery, exiling him and separating him from his beloved father for so many years. And despite the peace that had dominated Yosef's relationship with his brothers of late, his brothers were terrified that Yosef had been following a Yo’av-esque philosophy of feigning peace while secretly waiting for a chance for revenge and war. They approached Yosef terrified, nervous that he had just been feigning peace all these years for Yaakov's sake. Thankfully, they had nothing to worry about. Similar to David HaMelech hundreds of years later, Yosef recognized the importance of being willing to forgive and move on, the importance of creating a lasting peace even when you have been seriously wronged. He comforted them, saying that their actions were all part of Hashem's master plan to bring the Jews down to Egypt, and saying he held nothing against them.